Sunday, April 13, 2014

underwhelmed

This week has been a typical week for me, meaning that it is the same roller coaster that I always experience.  No doubt, it is the same that YOU all experience.  A lot of good shit happens and a lot that you'd rather skip.  First thing... I got in Longs freaking Park.  This is HUGE in my book.  I've gotten into shows that are ranked way higher but in all the years I've applied to this show, I could never get in.  I am so unbelievably stoked about this but it would be just as easy for me to focus on the stuff that didn't go so well this week.
 
Let me tell you about a few of the things that I DON'T usually blab about in my blog, newsletter, or FaceBook.  For a while now, I have been involved with serious talk about an enormous mosaic in the med center.  I've been so excited about it that I have lost quite a bit of sleep over it.  So Friday, I found out that they decided against a mosaic (for now.)  They felt the room that they needed art for would be better served with transparent glass on the windows and I had to agree.  They assured me that they def want my work in the hospital and I know that whatever mosaic project pops up in its place will be far more glorious than this one that I had been envisioning instead of sleeping.  I swear to you that all my thoughts directed toward mosaic are never wasted.
 
I look at setbacks as just part of the process.  This week, Rob came in my shop and saw the progress of the wave I am working on.  His comment was, "I am underwhelmed."  He knows, and I know that there are many stages of ugly before a mosaic is finished.  Look at those enormous gaps that will be filled in and rough edges that will be covered with frame.  And for real, who besides me can see a wave in that mess?  It is just a recent thing that I am becoming a little more comfortable with showing my work at this stage. 
 
What I am trying to say is that I think a lot of my friends think that my life is something different than theirs.  It is not that I am trying to hide the fact that I didn't get into Longs Park the first 8 times I applied.  Its also not that I am bragging about getting IN this time.  I am just celebrating HARD CORE because I KNOW what it took to get there.  I guess in a nutshell it is this: What works for me is to talk about and focus on the truth that I got in Longs rather than the truth that I missed out on the med center this time.  I don't worry about how this mosaic looks now because I can see the end.  I realize that whatever I am dealing with I can CHOOSE how to look at every situation.  If you don't believe me, read Viktor Frankl.  Love this life.

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